A Conversation About Moustaches

A: I really like that new moustache you're rocking man

B:Thanks man, I'm not too sure about it actually, I only grew it so I could look more Mexican for the party. Rose is into it so I'm keeping it for now. Although I do think it makes me look too hipster.

A: Fuck it, it looks great. I've always felt facial hair grows to specifically to emphasise the features of a face.

B: What are you talking about?

A: I mean any facial hair knows the strengths of it's face and grows accordingly.

B: So the hair somehow senses the aesthetic expectations of of western beauty and decides to grow thicker in the parts to make you more attractive.

A: Nah man, it's more Darwinian than that, I'm saying that your moustache and the surrounding stubble emphasise your cheek bones, you've got great cheek bones by the way.

B: Thanks man.

A: It emphasises your cheekbones because it makes you more attractive, i.e fertile. It's evolution.

C: I don't like beards on men, makes them too scruffy.

B: But I'm taking about this starting back in back in Neanderthal times, primal shit.

C: I'm just saying guys should just get the fuck over beards. I rode past this young guy in the park yesterday and I literally couldn't tell if he was hobo or not, he had tattered clothing a giant ratty beard and was just sitting there staring into space like a hobo would. The only thing that gave him away were his expensive sunglasses. Guys need to understand it doesn't make them look wise or rugged it just makes them look like hobos. Having said that, I'm not against the moustache, yours looks pretty good, very Mexican.

A: Thanks.